A week or so back, I sent Beautiful You a wee little survey about the challenges you face when making and KEEPING the priorities you make to yourself.
Before we go any further, I have to mention that, statistically speaking, the survey results were solid. The response rate was at the high-end of industry standards, so we know the results are representative of our beautiful LAT community.
In other words, what I’m about to share with you is NOT an anomaly – it’s really really what (half of) you believe to be true.
In some form or another, nearly HALF of all LAT community members feel that making and keeping the priorities you make for yourself is SELFISH.
This is ESPECIALLY true when doing your thing conflicts with what others around you want. In other words, you start out okay, but at the very first little sign of pushback you let go of your deal to let the other person have theirs.
Now, certainly, there are times when this is absolutely necessary. We live in community with others and I completely appreciate that the happiness of those I love contributes greatly to my own.
At times, I forsake my own shizzle for the shizzle of those I love.
But I think what we’re talking about here is something deeper. It looks like what is happening is that nearly EVERY time what you want conflicts with what you OWE others, you yield.
Cause, if you didn’t, you’d feel guilty, right?
Of course, once you let your thing go, it’s harder to get back to it.
Long periods of time go by.
Then something sparks inside you. Maybe it’s a conversation we’re having here at Life After Tampons, maybe it’s something you see out in your community, but whatever the impetus, you DECIDE to take a chance again.
Cue Mr. Barry Manilow – Ready to Take a Chance Again.
But you hesitate. Cause now you can’t trust yourself, right?
That makes sense. You wouldn’t trust anyone else who always broke her promises to Beautiful You, would you?
It gets a bit uglier, I’m afraid.
Cause intertwined with those results, was a very STRONG theme of lack of deservedness among those who responded to our survey.
Deep down inside, or maybe even very close to the surface, you don’t believe you DESERVE to be a priority in your own life.
This isn’t everyone, of course.
Only HALF of our Beautiful Yous
I think we need to have a conversation about this.
I’m not a therapist, so I don’t have anything therapeutic to add, and, besides, it would be unethical to go there in this forum.
But I’m so very curious. How can I help you?
How do we get over this hurdle?
P.S. For those of you in that other half, can you help us understand how you overcame the roadblocks of fancied selfishness and lack of deservedness?
P.S.S. In a few weeks, we’re announcing a new course about making and keeping the priorities you make to yourself. If that appeals to Beautiful You, go here and sign up for advance notice and stuff.
photo: flickr, Jamie McCaffrey