It’s said that “whatever we place in our magical magnifying mind grows.” If you’ve ever had a “spiral downward” sort of day, you know what I mean.
It seems like bad days sort of cave in on themselves.
They might start out okay. But then they become sort of “crappy lite.” Perhaps you break a nail or run your stockings (support hose?) while you’re in a hurry.
Then, the car doesn’t start, and you’re running late, and when you get to work someone at the morning meeting decides she’s going to Pee in Your Wheaties and, before you know it, you’re having a bona fide Crappy Ass Day or, CAD as they’re known in the Industry. (Yes, I just made that CAD thing up, but I get to do that because I’m writing and you’re reading.)
Anyway, CAD days are easily enough transformed into GLAD days (or, Glad my Ass is Alive Day) if you decide to focus your Magical Magnifying Mind on what is RIGHT with your life.
But sometimes, you just don’t want to participate in your own happiness. You’re down in the muck with your sourpuss self and you just don’t want to give up the sh*t because, at the time, there just ain’t no brand of shinola that feels as comfortable.
This is where the trouble really starts. Because, once you get comfortable being uncomfortable in a miserable situation, it becomes increasingly more difficult to shake both your negative feelings AND the negative consequences those feelings attract.
When you get to that point, and you’re ready to “Quit Your Bitching. Change Your Life,” here are 9 Turn-Around Strategies that are GUARANTEED to work. (I say “guaranteed” because, if they don’t work, the Universe will gladly refund your misery.)
To come back to the Land of Joyful Living, you could . . .
1. Monetize your negativity binge. What is it costing you to be negative right now? Write that down.
2. Trick yourself out of it. Here’s a game I play – “If I wasn’t thinking about my crappy ass life, what would I be thinking about instead?” Then, think about those things.
3. Make peer pressure work for you. Consider this — what do the people you admire think about the particular worry that has captured your attention?
4. Tell on your bad self. Take peer pressure one step further and call a member of your Wisdom Circle and tell her all your best sorry tales of woe. (See if you can do this and not be giggling by the end of the call.)
5. Look for the “why” and the “what.” In other words, “why” are you thinking about this stuff and “what” do you get out of staying stuck in your misery? Is it attention? Are you punishing yourself for something? Are you keeping yourself small so that you don’t outgrow the people in your life? (Ha! Nailed it, didn’t I?!)
6. Help someone else. The surest way out of misery is to offer service to someone else. (Caution: NEVER use this tool if you are really invested in self-pity. It is a sure-fire self-pity vanquisher.)
7. Make appointments with your misery. If you can’t give up your suffering, at least build a container around it. Schedule dates with your misery and then only allow yourself to feel it during the pre-appointed times. When you’re not having a misery appointment, do something else.
8. Ask your sadness what it wants. Yes, this is the most “woo woo” of the suggestions for the day, but if you’ve made it this far, you must trust me just a little. Sit down with a paper and pencil and ask your suffering what it wants from you. Then, WRITE DOWN what “suffering” says back to you. Don’t scoff. Just do.
9. Nap, exercise, prayer, meditation, and hot fudge sundaes with Spanish peanuts. Pick any two. And repeat until you feel better.
And now we’re at your turn.
What are your Best Tips for vanquishing misery? I look forward to reading them in the Wisdom Circle comments below.
In fact, I’m going to “bookmark” your ideas for the next time I decide to throw myself a Pity Party. I’ll make myself some hors d’oeuvres, sit down with my misery, and meander through your wisdom.
Blessed Be! Love, Jennifer
Photo: Flickr, meddygarnet