Today, our talk is about fear. Because I’m afraid.
I’m afraid for all sorts of reasons, but at the heart of each is self-doubt. And it’s absolutely right, in the face of really really tough things to have self-doubt.
When I have self-doubt, it’s because the thing I’m afraid of is bigger than I am.
And so, what I really need, at times like these, is not to be free of fear.
It’s to grow larger in my faith.
How much space do you leave in your life for magic? For grace?
When I was younger, I left absolutely none. It was full on self-reliance for me for many, many years.
But then I discovered something surprising about myself. My fancied self-sufficiency isn’t sustainable. I can’t “bring game” like I used to when it comes to haranguing myself into performing.
When I was a kid, I could go to the practice room (I’m a flautist) and hammer out scales, arpeggios, etudes and sonatas for 10 hours or more a day.
Now, I know that’s not even effective practicing. That’s just triple-tonguing your way through life so you can’t here the little fear voices in your head.
Here’s what mine say:
“You’re not enough.”
“You’re just a phony.”
“Pretty soon everyone is going to find that out.”
“Better work harder.”
“Oh, did you hear that missed note, intonation problem, inconsistent rhythm pattern? That must be because …”
“You’re not enough.”
And there you have a perfectly closed loop that leads nowhere good.
But here’s the thing, Sweet Cheeks, when I share my silly little private thinking peccadillo with you, it stills those voices. I can drop the lash and embrace you instead.
The only way out is through, love. But we don’t have to “go through” it alone.
Your fear, your s_c_a_r_e_d voice is really just your S_A_C_R_E_D self calling you home to yourself.
Go ahead and listen to that negative voice, thank it for sharing, and then lift your heart to your Truth – YOUR GREAT CALLING.
EVERYONE here at LAT is your soul sister in this journey. Please let us know, in the Wisdom Circle space below, how we can support you. (I’m not kidding.)
Thank you for walking this beautiful walk with me today.
Blessed be. Namaste.
Yours in Love and Service,
Photo: Flickr, dvs