When it comes to living our own best life, most of us know what to do, we just don’t do it.
We know what we should eat, and yet we find ourselves in the Nutter Butters at o’dark hundred.
We know exercise is important, and we’re gonna get right to it – just as soon as we . . . .
We know we shouldn’t buy that something or other on our credit card, but it’s such a good price, and these such and suches are hard to find, and besides, I’ve always wanted a thus and such, and moreover, my tax refund is right around the corner, or at least it will be as soon as I do my taxes and — what did I do with the W2 anyway and is it really already April???
Damn! I swore I was never going to get myself in this mess again!
*****
We mean well.
We just don’t execute well.
Okay, here’s where I want to insert a bit of a warning label to this piece:
WARNING: This article is meant to improve your life. Do not read it if you are just going to use it to find another way to hate yourself.
*****
Here are seven little tricks you can use to help you keep on keeping on. Or, as we say here at Life After Tampons,
Quit Your Bitching. Change Your Life.
1. Fake It Till You Make It – Using your very best acting skills, play the role of the person who has already accomplished the thing you want to do. Want to be a fit person? What do fit people wear? How do they hold their bodies while they stand in line to get their yummy green juice?
2. So What? Now What? – If you backslide a bit, it’s important to have a tool that helps you get back on target quickly. When you mess up, when something doesn’t go your way, tell yourself, “So what? Now what?”
3. Do the Next Right Thing – After you’ve picked yourself back up, just do the very next right thing that will keep you moving forward. If you can’t think of what would be “right,” then do the smallest “not wrong” thing you can think of.
4. How Important Is It? – Remember to keep things in perspective. This will keep your thinking from spinning out of control.
5. Easy Does It – Remember to step lightly as you go through your beautiful life. “Act as if” your life delights you. Keep a lighthearted approach to the things you do.
6. Stick with the Winners. Not the Whiners. – Boy this one is important. Surround yourself with people who will champion you. It’s tougher to do this than you may think. In order to stick with the “winners” and not the “whiners” you yourself will have to “act as if” you are a winner. Because other winners will not tolerate whining. That’s a good thing.
7. Whom Can I Serve? – Sometimes the best way to pick yourself back up, is to look for someone else to help. Once, I offered a homeless person some help. I don’t remember what it was that I did, but I DO remember that afterwards, he offered me a piece of Wrigley’s spearmint gum. I was SO humbled by his generosity.
What tricks do you use to help yourself succeed?
Help a girlfriend out. Please share your personal Success Secrets in the Wisdom Circle comments below.
Love, Jennifer
Photo: Flickr, Lauren Lionheart
The best change I made in my life is to get rid of whiners and generally unhappy people. Such a breath of fresh air.
The bad part about being around people who are so negative is that as humans we feel compelled to mirror their behaviour for solidarity. That’s how we get caught in the downward spiral.
Thanks for sharing such wonderful tips.
Dee
Lord, that spiral thing is so absolutely spot on, Dee!
I love all your comments but the bold one was my favorite. Quit your bitching & change your life. I had a coach tell me once that nobody cared about me. He was talking sales and wasn’t trying to be cruel. But I think it carries over to other parts of life. We have to just get on with our lives and keep trying.
Thank you, Shawn. That “bold” one is actually our LAT tag line. Sounds like your coach had some tough love mojo!
I am learning to just be “me”. As a daughter, wife, mother, employee … we often do what we know will please others. I’m finding that is sometimes in direct opposition as far as who I am or what’s important to me (my core values and passions). It’s much less stressful for my internal self to set boundaries and go from there. Other folks don’t always like it, but they get used to it … took my adult kids about 6 months to get used to me not answering my cell phone EVERY time they called (I was turning it off for the first time in years when I was at a restaurant or busy with friends). They didn’t like it and complained mightily … but it was good for them and me — so liberating
Cool! Turn that phone off, girlfriend. I have younger kids and they never want me, unless I’m having a moment to myself. lol
Act as if” your life delights you. That’s a keeper Jennifer. I sure hope you are planning to write a book.
Joyce, love, I absolutely will be writing that book. Very soon, love! Thank you for your vote of confidence. J
LOVE this! 7 GREAT things to remember and follow.
When I read “the winners will not tolerate whiners” I thought, and also the other way around. Whiners don’t tolerate winners, they try to bring you back down to their intolerable lives and become the nay sayers and dream stealers. I try to stay far away from those who don’t support my dreams.
I also have a similar story to #7. It actually made a great full blog post….
btw, when I click on the “notify me on follow up comments” it never does…boohoo
Hi, Carin. I love the phrase “dream stealers.” The thing is, not everyone intends to sabotage someone else’s success, it’s just that a friend’s sudden success shines a bit of a light on where I’m supposed to grow, but haven’t yet. thanks for the note about the comment notification. I’ll talk to our tech team about it. Jennifer
Jen, fabulous advice – profundity can be pithy! I especially liked numbers #6 and #7. Great stuff!!!
Thanks, Tor. I have to put that whining thing in there to remind myself. Jennifer
Jennifer, these are all great reminders. I had a reminder yesterday as I was thinking about all of the URGENT things I needed to get done that day, as I was unconsciously stuffing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into my mouth, while trying to play ball for 5 seconds with the dog (talk about quality time).
Here it is:
Discern what is URGENT AND IMPORTANT from what is URGENT BUT NOT IMPORTANT. Do the first, leave the latter. When everything seems urgent, this is a good tool for me to realize that the sky will still be up there if I don’t get everything done and put a hot meal on the table…
Love you!
I LOVE this reminder. I forget that one all the time — urgent but NOT important. btw, I just ate 18 Hershey Nuggets — totally mindlessly — while i was checking email. what a waste!!!! thanks for visiting, Linda, and congrats on all your recent Big WINS!!!!
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. For everything, not just the obvious things. When we can begin to embrace gratitude for the good AND the assumed bad that happens, we can truly skyrocket our success!
Yes, yes, and yes!!!!
Wonderful tips! Thanks for sharing.
Welcome, Ashley!!! I’m so happy it was helpful, love.
Love #1 – Fake it till you make it – I have to start that.
Having a hard time with #6. Stick with the Winners. Not the Whiners. Just when I decided to do this, one of my especially whiney friends experienced a crisis. I’m not comfortable leaving her now. She brings me down when I am with her, but I feel the need to help her now that she is having a tough time. What to do??
You raise an important point, Kate. And I am so grateful that you took a moment to write. We each have to decide for ourselves “when to hold them and when to fold them” to steal a line from Kenny Rogers. You can be of service to your friend without losing yourself, though. I find that, if I stay in touch with myself, I’m able to see my limits with respect to how much I have to give. What a beautiful friend you are!!! Love, J
Great tips. All so good, and habits that take some time to lock in. Just discovered your blog though A to Z and have become a follower. Love the title!
Thank you, Marianne. Welcome.
Oh man! I am a huge proponent of ‘fake ’til you make it’! But I always have to add, under my breath ‘but don’t fake it ’til it breaks ya’, the difference being that of ‘fear to appear as’ over ‘desire to be’…knowing the masks i have worn, I now require authentic.
Lately, I have found that my best attribute is my newest mantra for myself, ‘I show up’. I do it for everyone else, now it is time do so for me. I have begun to say ‘yes’ even when I have goose bumps.
Love to the LAT crew!
J
I LOVE YOURS!!! It’s EXACTLY what I needed today, beautiful Jeanette. I show up!!!!!! Yes, I do!!!!!
Nice post. Just my $0.02 here: “Faking it” till you make it is not really an option sometimes.
E.g., when you’re down and depressed for a long time, you can’t even remember how it is to be happy and relaxed.
Or, if you have lived for years and years in poverty or barely sustaining yourself and your family, you can’t act like a well-off person — because you just can’t experience the lightness, the way they make decisions about their life and their next move, it’s totally strange to you.
In this sense, it’s a caricature, not an imitation.
You’re absolutely right. Some things are very very difficult, and we need to reach for outside help.
If we study Victor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” or Rabbi Kushner’s “When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” though, we see powerful examples of people who have survived the “worst things” in life and yet still choose to find a place of optimism. When my daughter died, I made a study of people like this, and I learned that, while I can’t control what happens to me in life, I CAN choose how I respond.
Thanks for writing in, Eleni!!!!
Love this list. #6 made me smile because only a few months ago I added to it “Stick with the Winners. Not the Whiners…or Manipulators”!
These past few months made me realize how many times I had been in the presence of Manipulators for things related to my business. They always had a great attitude and said they believed in me but, somehow, always managed to get me to do WAY TOO MUCH. In the long run, I did not give myself the right to shine and they got all the credit.
Not listening to that little “guilty inner voice” in the past few months has been liberating…and has put my business back on its track. Now it’s growth time!
You make an important point, Chantal. Wow. Thank you for adding a whole new dimension to this.
So glad I found you – these are fabulous suggestions. “So What? Now What?” has particular resonance for me. I would add only: “There is always something to be grateful for.” Because there is, even when things look their bleakest. I know something about depression and how hard it is sometimes to just put one foot in front of another. Remembering to be grateful can be immensely helpful. And I’m talking about gratitude for everything from sunshine to the freedoms we have by livin’ in the USA.
Dearest Carol, THANK you for the gratitude reminder. I hope you signed up or updates. I want to stay in touch, love.
Thank you for this post. Like others, number 6 resonates. For me it is choosing to spend my time with Balcony People and enduring Celler Dwellers only when necessary. Balcony People put energy into the room and Celler Dwellers suck it out.
Oooh, I love Balcony People and Cave Dwellers. Thanks for takng a moment to share your beautiful wisdom, Emily.