Have you ever started out the day in a pretty good mood, or at least not minding it all so much?
You resolve to appreciate the day, get the stuff done that is weighing on your heart, have a great day.
But then, you discover the shirt you wanted to wear is in the wash . . . “oh my god, have you seen the pile in the laundry room? . . . I’ll just throw in a quick load . . . you open the washer door . . . %&*#@&+ who left their wet laundry in here AGAIN?” . . .
Now you have a mildew problem . . . “why do all these animals keep creating work for you?” Plus, you have to decide if you should just dump the mildewed pile in the offender’s room to “teach him a lesson.”
But who’s really getting the “lesson,” since you’re the one who has to deal with the ensuing mildew odor that will surely stink up the whole house . . . so you decide to run their clothes through another cycle . . . and there goes your clean shirt for the day.
Since that didn’t work out like everything else in your life that should be simple but isn’t, you go to your closet to find something else to wear.
Except . . .
. . . You don’t have anything to wear. Because you’re fat.
And, everything you own is so shabby, shapeless . . . just like your body . . . “my body is so depressing these days . . . when I stop walking it takes five minutes for my thighs to get the memo and stop jiggling . . . if only I’d kept on that diet I started 24, 15, 7, 3 weeks ago . . . why can’t I stick to anything? 4 diets in six months, and I’m still fat.”
So, you throw on a muumuu but you jazz it up with that emerald-eye cat pin you hate but can’t seem to throw/give away because it was a gift from your beloved, but now long-dead crazy aunt . . . and she was the only one who ever loved you . . .” why didn’t anyone ever love me?”
Do you see what happened here?
You got up ready to do your day. But you hit a snag, and the snag caught on the first sad-ass thought. And sad-ass thoughts are more contagious than the flu, and so, the first negative thought snagged another going by. And, in a matter of minutes, your whole life unraveled.
You suffer from Stinking Thinking. The lens through which you view your life is clouded by half-truths that you tell yourself about yourself and your life situation.
It accepts half-truths as the King James truth about your life.
Your brain believes you when you tell it that your life sucks, that people don’t love you, that you’re ugly, lazy, hopeless. Oh, and fat. Don’t forget fat.
Since all action is rooted in thinking, when you engage in Stinking Thinking, your actions reek as well.
If you deconstruct what happened up there, you’ll see that one negative thought attracted the next one. And that one, being also the “truth” about your life, snagged on another.
When you tell your brain that your life is depressing, hopeless, and futile it will spring into action to find circumstances that support that line of thinking. It will find everything in your life that sucks and it will point it out to you.
If it can’t find anything crappy enough, your brain will start to make shit up. Notice how you’re not standing in front of your washing machine GRATEFUL that you have a washing machine in your house.
(Quick aside – if you DON’T have a washing machine in your house – if you “have” to go to the Laundromat, notice how you got a bit of self-pity that you don’t have a machine in your home life EVERYONE ELSE who reads Life After Tampons.)
Yep, all of us “wealthy folk.”
For you, notice how you are NOT grateful that you have a Laundromat to go to and that you are not cleaning your clothes by smacking them on stones down by the river.
Anyway, here’s the thing Sweet Pea:
Whatever you place in your Magical Magnifying Mind grows. (click to tweet)
I call this the “Sticky Tape” phenomenon. Whatever you are thinking is written on sticky tape – it will attract more of the same. If you are thinking negative thoughts, your essentially stupid brain will look for more.
If you are looking at things with optimism, if you have decided that life is good, your essentially mindless brain will hop right in and support you in that decision.
So, what you need to do is to remind yourself not to forget to remember to look on the bright side of things. You need to train your mindless mind to mind the “good stuff.” Your objective is to train yourself to “see” only good.
Okay, how many of you objected to that last statement? “What kind of La La Land does this Jennifer-Chick live in that she has the audacity to suggest that life is good? Does she not read the paper?”
If you want to be happy, if you want to get unstuck, you’re gonna have to sacrifice your will just a little bit.
Choose to “see” what is good in life. Develop your mental muscle power to strengthen and support you, rather than destroy any hope that you create. In short, do your mental push-ups.
Here’s how– When you catch yourself thinking crappy stuff, when you feel yourself sliding into an abyss of negativity, say out loud “STOP.” (Yes, it works better if you stay STOP out loud.) Then replace your sad-ass thought with a glad-ass one.
Be grateful. Make it your life’s work. Express your appreciation, to yourself and others. Start now, in the comments below. Oh, and here’s Part 1 of Why You’re Stuck. In case you’re really stuck.
P.S. If you’re really committed to change, make sure you’ve signed up for updates. That way you can be mindless and let me send them to you. Sign up here.
Oh, and photo is flickr, from someone named “y!”