Zits, Whiskers, Bald Spots. It’s All Just Good, Clean Menopausal Fun!

So, I’m down in the Mayan jungle with my Good Life Project Mastermind group outlining the next 4 months of our LATvian journey.

(By the way, LATvia is the imaginary internet land that is all things Life After Tampons. If you are a reader here, you are a LATvian. We are a tax-free state, too, which is really cool.)

Anyway, maybe it’s the special light of the Mayan jungle, but,this morning, I looked in the mirror and there it was – the entire left side of my face is FILLED with peach fuzz. (I don’t know what is happening on the right side, the light wasn’t the best in our bathroom.)

AAAAAAAGH! Did you hear me screaming while you were at home in your kitchen while I’ve been gone? WTF is that?

At the same time that I’m dealing with this new reality, I would like to say that I’m sporting two new gorgeous zits as well. My teenager has NOTHING on me in that regard.

With respect to changing body stuff, why doesn’t anybody talk about these physical changes that are coming, and why doesn’t anybody tell you how to deal with them?  I mean, every kid gets to see a video welcoming them to adolescence?  Where’s our “Welcome to Menopause” video?

Where’s that Talking Head?

Oh, wait .. . I’M THAT SOMEONE.

You may remember that last winter I was horrified when I looked in the mirror and discovered that I had twin bald spots which were creating a really nice widow’s peak for me. The dermatologist said that the sudden hair loss was due to stress and shifts in estrogen.  She suggested Rogaine.  You can read about that freak show here.

You may also recall that my husband temporarily lost his Big Bed privileges for this one really unfortunate comment – “How much did you say that Rogaine cost?”

Back to today — as my shock has worn off, and I’ve started to embrace my new facial fluff, I’m starting to wonder if the Rogaine dripped down from my scalp and rested on the culvert that has formed since the collagen left the side of my face, hence creating the new fluffness.

Let no one say that the principles of accounting are not in full play during the menopause transition. Everything balances.  You lose the hair on your head, but it only shifts down a little and to the left – right below your eyes and right above your zits.

Still, the fundamental rule of Life After Tampons – Quit Your Bitching. Change Your Life – apply to even me. That means I must find a spiritual solution to the problem that is my new cheek-whiskers.

So I’m learning to embrace – nigh CELEBRATE – the changes to my body.

So, today I would like to introduce myself to you in light of my new reality.

My name is Jennifer Boykin, I’m the joyful and grateful creator of the Life After Tampons community, and I’m a BEARDED LADY.

And so it is. Blessed be. Love, J

Photo:  Mac_NZ


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21 Responses to Zits, Whiskers, Bald Spots. It’s All Just Good, Clean Menopausal Fun!

  1. SherriS. says:

    Sadly, I’ve had this problem right after high school thanks to my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (try saying that 3 x fast). Back then it was a few black stiff hairs that I tweezed – I’m almost blushing when I write this or could it be a hot flash! If I didn’t have an ample busom and let them grow out my name could be Harry…just saying

    Now there are stiff white hairs joining the herd – yes they’ve been multiplying damn it. Now at the top of my wish list is laser hair removal. Just hoping I can afford it soon and that it will work.

  2. Laura says:

    Actually I love my peach fuzz – it feels good. Don’t give a hoot how it looks.
    Enjoy the shifts!

  3. Annie Sisk says:

    I read that comment above as “Enjoy the zits.” And I almost went postal. On a website. :::headdesk::: Bring on the Burt’s Bees zit stuff!

  4. Kate says:

    Yes, why DOES no-one tell you this stuff? Or what to do about it? I’m still trying to work up the courage to ask a friend of mine who’s ahead of me on this journey about her facial waxing. As for the spots, I was lucky as a teenager and never suffered much, so as a 40-something year old, it’s a shock to discover how bad it makes me feel when my skin plays up. There is no advice about treatments, just the odd remark on the internet that “middle-aged acne” (whoever put those three words together in one phrase needs a serious talking-to) is often related to stress. That would be because we’ve got middle-aged acne! Shout loud and proud, Jen, we need a cheerleader.

  5. So much to look forward to right from our teens and beginning menstruation to birthing babies (no one really gives you the truth about that one either) to now menopause. I have the zits, can’t wait for the balding and the hot flashes. Wow, the joy just never ends! Love the picture for this post.

  6. Bonnie says:

    Jen, you must have been watching me the first time I noticed my “peach fuzz” on my chin. Thank goodness for hair removal creams! In less than 15 minutes I’m back to my “smooth self.” I totally agree that a handbook outlining exactly what happens to the 50+ female body should be mandatory. We haven’t even broached the topic of VJJ dryness!

  7. Cindy says:

    Since I am (was) blonde I have had facial hair, have had horrible experiences with facial hair removal…electrolysis..Laser is not available for blondes. So looking forward to the zits but wondering if anyone has used hormone therapy? I know that yo need to balance progesterone with estrogen (have used the over the counter cream) but have been scared off by the big “C” …Anyone know if hormone therapy is Cancer causing..or are they trying to scare us off,

  8. Beth says:

    This posting couldn’t have come at a better time (coincidence or god-incidence?). I’ve been fighting the blues the past few days over my LAT changed body, but after reading your post, I think I’m just fine the way I am. Thanks Jen.

  9. CHRISSY says:

    Your peach-fuzz (vellus hair) is probably due to shifting hormones-as infants we all have it and we lose a lot of it only to find it again in our forties. As hormones shift, we tend to feel colder as our body temperture tends to drop (not sure why, I have since recently been noticing fat pockets popping up-what the h*** is with that!!!) and so the vellus hair returns and so may urges to eat fruit and leaves!!
    Everyone have a fun day!!!

  10. Natalie says:

    I am an electrologist and most of my clients are woman our age. Almost everyone of them mentions how unfair it is to lose the hair on your head only to grow it on your face. You are not alone.
    I wonder why Cindy said electrolysis was a horrible experience, all of my clients are very happy.

  11. Of course we’re just fine the way we are, after we get over the shock of those changes. Even if we had been forewarned about them, we were too busy to listen.

    So here we are.

    My advice is always “Enjoy the stage you’re in. Later you’ll be reminiscing about it.”

  12. Jeanette says:

    The book that could be written about these changes and the humor that allows us to survive, would sell! Jennifer, I am at a point where I would kill for peach fuzz because my particular facial hair is black whiskers on a light skin playing field…urgh! My hot flashes have, of late, reached sweatshop standards, and my skin seems to have literally begun to lose all pretense of firm. sigh…at least laughter is ageless and I thank you for the gift of it here!

    LAT laughter for your day!

  13. Lori Jo Vest says:

    You, my friend, are too damn funny.

  14. Laura B says:

    No, wait, I’m still on the comment about the hair removal creams. Do they work on the face? I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to compound the problem by burning my facial skin off!

  15. Amy says:

    While I’m reading these posts, I’m pulling at one of those “insta-hairs” that pops up outta your chin, and mostly no one ever tells you about it–until it’s too late, and it’s long and gray. Reading your post inspired me to go on a fishing expedition, and I found a nice long one right under my chin. Now that’s sexy!

  16. Hi Jennifer…this made me LOL! A friend of mine’s mother made her swear that she’d come to the nursing home to pluck her chin. I didn’t get it until now! I have 8 or 9 new friends on my chin…fortunately I’m blondish! I see this a lot in my clients too…when we get their hormones balanced, some of this stuff improves. Whiskers, zits and bald spots, generally relate to having too much testosterone. Your ovaries start to crank this out in response to increasing levels of LH as menopause approaches. I use saliva testing with my clients to determine what’s out of whack and then use lifestyle, supplements, mindset work and if needed, BHRT to get things back in balance. Love your blog!

  17. NewYawkahBroad says:

    I wanna know how I can have more oil on my face than an Alaskan island and STILL HAVE WRINKLES??

    Yeah, since my hysterectomy last year I have this wiry peach fuzz along my jaw line and neck. My doctor rolled his eyes when I wanted to keep my ovaries b/c I didn’t want to look like my Italian goateed husband the following month. HE LIED and said I wouldn’t get facial hair!!! If I’m not diligent I can sport a SERIOUS Soul Patch!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    I’m starting to fear full moons………

  18. Stuart Young says:

    Your tone is right up my street. Have enjoyed reading your posts – love the humour you’re injecting into this area. Keep it up. 🙂

  19. Chris says:

    Peach fuzz I can live with. The black wirey things poking out of my face and multiplying like rabbits bother me. In the other “no one mentioned that” category: what’s with the sudden heavy nasty periods? I had a uterine ablation about 10 years ago and have since had very light periods. Barely noticed when they would come and go. Then things went to every couple of months and I thought, “hey, this perimenopause things — it’s not so bad.” Imagine my surprise when a couple of months ago I was doubled over with cramps–and then a gush that required a rush to FIND tampons. And then it happened again. Two weeks later. “Oh, yeah,” my MIL told me. “It gets bad again.” Huh??

  20. Linda O says:

    OMG this is soooo funny!! I’m 53 quickly going on 54 and recently broke my right elbow and the results of not being able to pluck any of my chin hairs for 3 months were unbelieveable!! I have long hard white hairs, curly thick black hairs…..it is crazy!! forced my elbow to bend and pulled at many as I could stand the pain in my elbow!!! didnt even make it to the “patches” of crazy hairs growing long and curly on my neck!! I never knew I had so many hairs….I used to take the tweezers to them every Saturday and it seemed like only 4-5 ……what a joke to grow older and body changes that happen by surprise!!! Loving my Life and Looking forward what else mother nature has for me! just keep smiling!!!!

  21. Kate says:

    Yeah, the periods… like your body is shouting “do it NOW, have that/another baby BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE….”. Chronic cramps, heavy flow, depression, mood swings, lethargy, chocolate/wine cravings, all much worse now than they ever were before.

    Love the “live the stage you’re in cos you’ll be reminiscing about it later” comment. I remember when I had beautiful, smooth, unlined skin that didn’t need a ton of foundation before I was prepared to take it out of the house. Oh the irony of being too young to appreciate it. Sigh.

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