So, I’m down in the Mayan jungle with my Good Life Project Mastermind group outlining the next 4 months of our LATvian journey.
(By the way, LATvia is the imaginary internet land that is all things Life After Tampons. If you are a reader here, you are a LATvian. We are a tax-free state, too, which is really cool.)
Anyway, maybe it’s the special light of the Mayan jungle, but,this morning, I looked in the mirror and there it was – the entire left side of my face is FILLED with peach fuzz. (I don’t know what is happening on the right side, the light wasn’t the best in our bathroom.)
AAAAAAAGH! Did you hear me screaming while you were at home in your kitchen while I’ve been gone? WTF is that?
At the same time that I’m dealing with this new reality, I would like to say that I’m sporting two new gorgeous zits as well. My teenager has NOTHING on me in that regard.
With respect to changing body stuff, why doesn’t anybody talk about these physical changes that are coming, and why doesn’t anybody tell you how to deal with them? I mean, every kid gets to see a video welcoming them to adolescence? Where’s our “Welcome to Menopause” video?
Where’s that Talking Head?
Oh, wait .. . I’M THAT SOMEONE.
You may remember that last winter I was horrified when I looked in the mirror and discovered that I had twin bald spots which were creating a really nice widow’s peak for me. The dermatologist said that the sudden hair loss was due to stress and shifts in estrogen. She suggested Rogaine. You can read about that freak show here.
You may also recall that my husband temporarily lost his Big Bed privileges for this one really unfortunate comment – “How much did you say that Rogaine cost?”
Back to today — as my shock has worn off, and I’ve started to embrace my new facial fluff, I’m starting to wonder if the Rogaine dripped down from my scalp and rested on the culvert that has formed since the collagen left the side of my face, hence creating the new fluffness.
Let no one say that the principles of accounting are not in full play during the menopause transition. Everything balances. You lose the hair on your head, but it only shifts down a little and to the left – right below your eyes and right above your zits.
Still, the fundamental rule of Life After Tampons – Quit Your Bitching. Change Your Life – apply to even me. That means I must find a spiritual solution to the problem that is my new cheek-whiskers.
So I’m learning to embrace – nigh CELEBRATE – the changes to my body.
So, today I would like to introduce myself to you in light of my new reality.
My name is Jennifer Boykin, I’m the joyful and grateful creator of the Life After Tampons community, and I’m a BEARDED LADY.
And so it is. Blessed be. Love, J