Your Joy is Going to Cost You

If you’re like a lot of people at this time of year, you may be thinking about all the great ways you want to change your life.  Or, you may be kicking yourself in the ass for all the great ways you wanted to change your life last year, but didn’t.

If you can, put down the lash for just a second as we tease out where you went off track so that, this time around, you can try things differently.

When we don’t fully execute the changes we hope to make in our lives, it’s usually because, once we get started, it gets uncomfortable and we don’t want to pay the emotional price to change.

You want to lose weight, but you can’t stand the discomfort of cravings.  So, you yield.

You want to get your finances in order, but part-way into your plan, you decided you can’t stay with the fearful feelings that bubble up from that work, so you decided to stick with what you know and surrender your credit card the next time you want something.

I know this is really, really difficult, but here’s the truth of it:  If you want to make real and lasting change in your life —

Your Joy is going to cost you.

Your joy will cost your time, it will cost your attention, it will cost your energy and dedication, and, on occasion, it will cost you to open your wallet.

Your joy is going to cost you.

But I want to encourage you to step up and pay that price.  I want to lovingly nudge you to invest in yourself.  Regularly.

Here’s one smart reason to do so:  Each time a woman invests in herself, countless others are also helped.  That’s because every woman touches many lives.

When you become a better version of yourself, you create more good in the world.  (click to tweet)

We see this, and yet, when it’s time to take a leap and spend our resources in pursuit of our own dreams, we hesitate.

Worse, over time, our repeated inaction becomes a dead-weight that calcifies around our hopes and dreams and keeps us perpetually anchored to a somewhat passable, yet deeply unsatisfying life.

Stop putting yourself last!  Stop expecting yourself to make important changes without giving yourself the tools you need to do so.

Your joy is going to cost you.

In addition to my creative work here for you at Life After Tampons, I speak to executive leadership teams, women’s groups, sales teams, and at corporate and personal retreats.  I specialize in teaching people how to capitalize on adversity and change.  (If you want to know more about my professional series, “Wisdom.  At Work.,” email me:

At any rate, the strategic lesson that transfers from that work to your One Beautiful Life is this:  you can only be as great as you know how to be.

Sometimes your skillset really does hold you back.

With respect to creating and harnessing the powerful force of change in your own personal life, you can’t overcome this one thing —  you don’t know what you don’t know.

If you have fears and denial systems in place,  you can’t see what is in your way.

If you lean into your broken relationships because you don’t know how to create healthy ones, you can never attract a team that will cheer you on to your greatest success.

If you really don’t know how to break through the bitterness and regrets of your past,  you can’t fully embrace the magic that is swirling around you every single day.

You can only be as good as the tools you have at your disposal – your personal, strategic, emotional, relational, and mindset tools that you bring into your day-to-day living.

And, at some point, what you know or don’t know and what you can or can’t execute in your own personal life will limit you.

Your Joy is going to cost you.

Now, when people hire me to speak at their organizations, they think that what they will get is the same old same old motivational speakerish rah rah siss boom bah blathering blah and blah and blah and blah.

That’s not what I do.  I’m not that speaker.

It’s insipid.  It’s uninspired.  And worse, it doesn’t work.

Once you know the basics of your craft, if you really want to make real and lasting change in your professional life, invest in your PERSONAL development.  That is where you will see the greatest return on your investment.

When you invest in knowing yourself more, when you hire the right people to teach you how to spot and overcome the obstacles that are in your way, when you spend time and energy envisioning where you want to go and HOW you will get there, you bring your newly transformed self into EVERY area of your life.

With professional development, you invest once and, if you’re lucky, you see gain in that one area of your life.

With PERSONAL development, however, you invest once, but you manifest those rewards in EVERY domain of your life.

Invest in yourself.

Each month, set aside time and money to invest in honing the skills you need to change your interior world.  If you do that, everything new and fresh and free will flow out from you and flower in every area of your life.

Invest in yourself.

Your joyful life is going to cost you.

But it is the steal of a lifetime.  It is the bargain you can’t afford to miss.

Love, Jen

Photo: Flickr, zzzack


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8 Responses to Your Joy is Going to Cost You

  1. Ann Marie says:

    For me it’s about not being willing to tough out the feelings of aching muscles or rolling over when I wake up at 5:30 and make the decision to sleep until 7 instead of going to the gym.
    And let’s not even talk about the disappointment of being “good” and not getting instant results! (As it says in A Course in Miracles, “only infinite patience produces immediate results”.)
    Thank you for pointing out that those decisions do get in the way of my ultimate joy. Yes, for the most part I’m happy with my life. But joy is fleeting and it really doesn’t have to be.

  2. I have so much interior work to do I had to put up scaffolding.

  3. Angie says:

    Sometimes your article timing is a little spooky for me…I was just going through this whole dilemma of should I sign up for this workshop, should I take classes from this wonderful person or that wonderful person, should I spend $?? on my life-purpose fulfillment?

    Should, should, should, what should I do?

    “With respect to creating and harnessing the powerful force of change in your own personal life, you can’t overcome this one thing – you don’t know what you don’t know.”

    I could if I wanted to.

    I want to, I have the resources, and I have the courage.

    I have the intent. Now, for some action steps.

    Thanks again Jen!

  4. Ann Marie says:

    A friend posted the following quote on Facebook today, “There are risks and costs to a plan of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.” – John F. Kennedy

    Hmmm…must be something going around…

  5. Hey Jennifer,

    Right on target as usual! I’ve never added up what I’ve spent on my personal development, but I’m pretty sure it’d buy a FINE car. So worth it! Keep preaching it (and so will I)!

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