I wrote a really gorgeous piece for you today. This isn’t it.
As I was putting the finishing touches on that piece, I had to stop and write this for you first because the idea was relentlessly screaming in my head that I just absolutely HAD to share with you my week so far.
When you read it, be careful not to think that this piece is about me.
It’s not.
It’s about what happened in my life in just the last few days. BUT, the piece is about Beautiful You. Because what I hope to teach you how to do this week is PERSEVERE in the face of adversity.
To be sure, this has been a trying week so far. But, honestly, it wasn’t even CLOSE to the week from hell. Believe me, I KNOW that week.
Still, it wasn’t that many years ago that a week like this would have completely shut me down with respect to my Big Dream.
The week I just had would have completely made me doubt what the HELL I was thinking to even have a dream.
And I KNOW (because you have told me) that some of you have this same self-destruct button, too.
So, feel my pain. And then, USE it to HEAL YOURS!!
Here are the HIGHLIGHTS of the LOWLIGHTS of the last few days. (click to tweet):
Saturday and Sunday: Some of you know that I ordered a hot tub when we moved. It was the ONE thing I wanted just for me and felt like such a crazy-superfluous but totally self-loving treat coming off of several years of broke ass single parenting. Well, the gentlemen who delivered the tub studied with the Keystone Cops.
What should have been a one-hour process, extended to an EIGHT hour fiasco. In the end, they dropped the thing, cracking the exterior of the tub and damaging the side of our new home. All of this was going on while I was meeting a publishing deadline for my web mistress and trying to make family time because they are a CRITICAL component of my Big Dream.
After all that, the electrician hooked the tub up (only the decorative outer wall is cracked, so it is usable.) He hooked it up and left while I filled it with water. BUT, when it came time to turn the damn thing on . . . crickets. It was absolutely inoperable! Worse, it was well below freezing here all weekend. So, now we have a crazy-expensive tub filled with water that runs throughout all its internal pipes and such that can’t be heated in sub-freezing weather.
I realize this is a prosperity problem, but that isn’t the point. The POINT is that I invested in ONE THING that I wanted as part of my Victory Lap for surviving my single parent years. They broke it before I could even use it and then broke our house in the process. By Sunday evening, all was resolved, but that was the backdrop for my business goals over the weekend.
Monday and Tuesday: My office doesn’t have a door. It’s in the rec room on the lower level at the bottom of the kitchen stairs. The no-door thing is a problem. I need quiet to do the work I do. And I live with men. And when you don’t have a door, people sort of think you are always available, even if you tell them otherwise. (By the way, I ADORE my guys and The Italian. BUT, I also need lots of quiet solitude to get the good stuff to you.)
Okay, so I’m on it! All day Monday and half of Tuesday I was working right next to a contractor who was installing my beautiful new door. So, while I’m finishing a book, meeting with designers and tech folks, and trying to shine as a radio guest, there was banging, sawing, dry walling, sanding, etc. Did I mention the circular saw grinding outside the room while I was in the middle of a radio interview?
Tuesday: The dog needed a bath. I know that doesn’t sound like much. But, if you live in the Magical Enchanted Forest with a Golden Doodle love muffin, you know that your dog is essentially a dust mop for the entire forest floor. Two hours, three tubs of water, five towels, a half-hour under the blow dryer. A complete family job. You get the picture.
Tuesday: While I was on the phone doing my radio interview, I accidentally disconnected my headset from the phone. I do this dumb-ass tech mismanagement stuff ALL THE TIME. So, um, PANIC!!! I mean, I’m on the DAMN RADIO!
My radio host, Sandy Weiner, is continuing blithely, because of course she doesn’t know that I’m not actually on the line with her. Of course, my damn trifocals weren’t nearby and I couldn’t SEE WHERE THE DAMN hooky up thingy was.
(flounder, flounder, flounder, try not to cry, flounder, think “fuck fuck fuck in your head over and over again)
Then, finally, GRACE! Somehow I found the connection and came back on the line just as she was asking me the next question. By the way, that was the funnest ever conversation with Sandy Weiner of Last First Date. You can listen to it here if you want.
Wednesday: While I was at the High School yesterday to meet with my older son’s people, the Middle School called.
EMERGENCY!!!!
My younger son got so dizzy in class they had to fetch him in a wheelchair. His headache was an 8.5 out of 10. We’re new here and haven’t made it to the top of the local pediatrician’s waitlists, so off we go to Urgent Care. They sent us to the Emergency Room at the local hospital. My poor little guy was absolutely terrified. Crying. In pain. And I’m doing the totally-ninja-calm-mom-thing.
It all turned out okay (he had a really bad case of chronic sinusitis) but it was a HUGE scare. And whether my family is sick or not, I still have (largely self-imposed) deadlines to meet. (I know that I can change those deadlines, by the way, but how many of you can relate to the problem of letting yourself off the hook so many times you never come back to your dream?)
Into the Solution I Go!!
Okay, so this was the first HALF of my week. And it wasn’t even the week from hell. Nevertheless, I accomplished the following with respect to my Big Dream:
- I have nearly completed the companion workbook that will come FREE to you (if you are a subscribed reader) when my book launches in a couple of weeks.
- I had a terrific radio interview.
- I made several important connections to people I need to know for the next phase of my work.
- I strategized with my editor and designer/tech maven about the launch in two weeks.
- I was invited to write two really KILLER guest posts for other top bloggers.
- I registered for an important workshop for next week.
- I made a KEY connection that I can’t even talk about now.
- I created and conducted an IMPORTANT reader survey because I’m about to launch a special, subscriber-ONLY free service. (If you want to get those goodies, you have to sign-up by following this link.)
- Oh, and I stood up to a bully.
Phew! These are just the highlights of the work I was able to complete in the last few days with all the craziness swirling around me.
And I’m sharing it with you because I want you to KNOW that you can triumph even when tough stuff happens. You CAN AND MUST keep moving forward, even when unexpected stuff flares up.
DON’T QUIT. Lower Your Standards if need be. (click to tweet)
But keep moving forward!
This year, we’re creating special workshops, tool-kits and seminars that are EXCLUSIVE to our regular readers. If you want access to all of this and also the convenience of free updates, let us know how to reach you.
photo: flickr, jd hancock, again. I love that guy’s work!
First…total empathy for your week’s beginning.
But here is what I LOVED about this post. Rather than total focus on the shitty things that happened, you went right on and made an actual list of the accomplishments, which by the way is a much longer list!
Rock on…sounds like a great week so far by the look of THAT list.
The other thing that caught my attention is that except for the emergency room, all the other problems of the week were about “things” like hot tubs and doors and headsets. But what you accomplished was about connections to people and moving forward in your dreams of helping others. So much more vital (well, yes, I must admit sometimes a hot tub is vital).
I see success AND forward motion here! It really is all about perspective isn’t it?
So, in terms of this not being about you, it’s a great lesson for all of us in seeing the good around the bad and moving forward despite. Great post!
I love this thoughtful comment, Carin.
How lovely, Carin. Thank you for your beautiful heart and also taking the time to share it with me. J
I thought I was the only one who mutters “Fuck, fuck, fuck” to herself when the proverbial shit hits the fan. So nice to know I’m not alone, Jen!
You absolutely inspire me to keep on keeping on. “Don’t quit. Lower your standards if need be.” Beautiful advice, especially for us perfectionist types.
Yes Jen, we have both had those weeks from hell along with other real women out there. What I LOVE LOVE LOVE is your ability to pat yourself on the back and give yourself a huge high-five and live and write to tell us about it which, in turn, helps all of us out here in WebLand! Love you and your gorgeous heart!
Oh, and I have been taught how to REALLY say it: “FUCK, fuck, FUCK-FUCK-FUUUUCK!!!” LOL!! I was with my Mom shopping all day yesterday and kept making mistakes driving and going the wrong places. I told her I kept cussing because she is such a good cusser and I didn’t want her to feel alone! Ha! Keep Rockin’, Jen!
Someday, I’d like to meet your mother.
What a week! The one thing that really stands out to me, and I don’t know why this particular thing does, is: You stood up to a bully! That takes enormous inner strength and self assurance. Congrats!
Thank you, Beth.
Hi Jen,
All I kept thinking as I was reading this==>This isn’t the week from Hell?! Damn! I wonder what THAT week is like?
Your account proves once again that it’s not what happens to us, it’s how we react to and handle the things we can’t control.
On one level, some of this is hilarious. On the other hand, it makes me want to cry a I remember being in similar situations.
Who else but our amazing Midlife Midwife would handle all this and meet those deadlines?! I’m proud.
Thank you, Flora. I want LAT to be a community of women who are all PERSEVERING the best we can, one day at a time. I mean, who else GETS THIS???
I did my second spin class last night. After the first one last Wednesday, I ran out (or limped over) to the bicycle store and got a gel seat. It made last night’s class a 7 out of 10 on the pain scale. (Last week was 9 out of 10.)
My butt and “lady parts” were completely numb after class last week. Soooo not fun and sooo not what I had hoped for when I purchased 10 classes for $50 from LivingSocial. Last night the B&LP were fairly numb.
But I Will Perservere.
I will believe what others in the class have said: It takes 4 or 5 classes to get the hang of it. On the up side, I feel my leg muscles today.
And your story Jen, as Carin said, ends on a high note. I hope my future spin classes make me want to say the same thing.
Lord, I wish I had the courage to go back to spin class. I took ONE class and there was a two hundred year old woman spinning next to me and KICKING MY ASS! Afterwards, she came up to me and patted my arm and said, “Don’t worry, dear. It gets better.”
I didn’t go back.
I hear you with this post. This is the short and sweet of my past 7 days:
Day 1 See neurologist who advises having neck surgery sooner than later, receive the news that my brother-in-law has passed away (he was 49), get home, spend the rest of the day in-laws.
Day 2 Work, be told the school is looking into contacting the county attorney concerning my son’s truancy- he has had influenza, bronchitis, walking pneumonia, and not whooping cough along with chronic migraines and so has been at school 2 days since December 15. (We are at our wits end) then rush to make it to drop off student art work to our league show before the museum closes. get back spend the rest of the day at in-laws
Day 3 Head to funeral home, help plan funeral/ pick out the casket. Pick up book from florist to pick out flowers. Spend rest of the day with in-laws.
Day 4 Go to Sunday school, head over to in-laws. End up writing brother-in-law’s obituary since the rest of the family is not up to the task, this is after 9 pm that evening.
Day 5 Leave for work at 7:30 am, get home at 8 pm. full day at school and then Parent/teacher conference tonight (I am a teacher)
Day 6 Work 7:30 am to noon. At the funeral home by 1, funeral at 2… internment, to in-laws, go home around 9 pm.
Day 7 Go to work at 7:30 am, work a full day then conferences again, get home 6:45 pm
OMG!
The good. I spent wonderful time with my extended family. We laughed and cried. I got to see my 2 older sons a few extra days. They came home from college.
My classroom smells like a florist shop from the potted plants and flower arrangement that I brought over after the funeral. The weather was gorgeous so we were able to hang out at the grave sight and talk, say goodbye for quite awhile. I made it through.
Thank you for the “lower your standards” comment. I have been down on my self for not keeping up at work like I would do normally. I hope to get back to having the energy to even think about my dream.. but that can wait a few more days.
Once again thank you for your post, The timing could not have been better.
See people, this is what I’m talking about. One of our sisters has honed her gratitude-finding skills such that she is grateful for good weather so she CAN HANG AROUND THE GRAVESITE and talk with her family.
Thank you so much for your beautiful inspiration. I’m so sorry for your loss and will keep your son in my prayers, too.
Jen
I have a saying, boring is good. When life is predictable we can get a lot done. We have our lovely daily patterns. I adore a good routine.
But it’s weeks like the one you’ve had (so far) that you learn what you can do (work through minor disasters and major distractions); what is important; and that you can effectively work past all that crap. While keeping all your self-imposed deadlines.
You have had a very successful week!
Thank you, Charlotte. I did have quite a bit of chocolate to see me through. Jen
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One of my favorite framed sayings: “Most people don’t know that there are angels whose only job it is to make sure you don’t fall asleep and miss your life.” (Brian Andreas, Story People)
You were surrounded by angels!
True we all have days, weeks, and sometimes even months where it seems for every step forward we end up taking three or four steps back but if we keep trying, if we keep focused on where we want to go and maintain patience (we don’t have to get there immediately) we can achieve goals.
Every time I think I’ve learned how to be patient, to pace myself to some days take giant steps and other days barely take a step to achieving a goal, I find myself without the necessary patience to be kind to myself. I’ve come to believe that sometimes we have those days or weeks with obstacles dropped in our paths so that we not only slow down but that we remember our strengths and all the times we have survived whatever life has thrown at us.