Sometimes I forget I’m in love with my life. During those times, my mind tries to convince the rest of me that I’ve “made a big mistake” by starting my own business. That what I really want and need is “a regular schedule” and a “certain paycheck with benefits and everything.”
When my mind does this, it sounds really REALLY convincing.
But then, my reason kicks in. (I know, my “reason” is also part of my mind, but, in these times, they’re like two separate people.)
Anyway, my reason kicks in and says something like, “Don’t listen to that crap. You know that this, too, shall pass.”
And, it always does. Because that first voice isn’t real. It’s just fear. And fear is almost never ever real.
Think about it.
When you are afraid, it is because you think something bad is going to happen. Fear is almost never about what is “actually” happening. Because what is actually happening is the Precious Present.
And, when I look back on it realistically, what was “actually and truly” happening in the Precious Present has only rarely been fear-worthy.
And yet, every day, I catch myself being afraid.
When my mind is telling me to “get a job,” it’s almost always because I “feel” like I have lost my edge – that my creative muse has left the building. And then, I fear that, because I feel so flat and uninspiring, that you will catch on and Beautiful You will leave the building with my muse.
And my FEAR of rejection has this crazy-ass strategy associated with it that says, “I’ll reject you before you can reject me.”
Thus, I’ll quit. Get a job. Take my toys and go home. Get a new job, school, man, client, girlfriend, networking group, mastermind team, client list, website community, Higher Power – on and on and on my preemptive rejection strike goes until I’m where my FEAR wants me to be – alone and completely isolated.
Now, fortunately, I’ve been living this “one day at a time” disciplined life for some decades now. And, almost as soon as the bullsh+t rejecter mind starts rattling away, my beautiful reason shows up with milk and cookies and helps me get back in my own game.
If the unreasonable voice of reason derails you in your head, here are some countermanding actions to take:
Remind yourself that, while your reason may be right, and – any day now – you’re gonna be alone and out on the streets – right now, you’re just fine, thank you. Then actually describe – out loud – your actual Precious Present.
“I’m sitting in the coffee shop. My friends are making breakfast for folks over there. I have a tank of gas in the car. The kids are fed, etc.”
Check for facts. See if there is “any there there” to what your mind is telling you. Often, there is a very small kernel of truth to our runaway fears. All you need to do is find that very small truth and look at it “right-sized.” It’s likely just a blip on the horizon rather than the full-scale galactic tragedy it seems.
After you locate that “kernel of truth,” see if there is something you can do to mitigate the downside of your circumstances. If so, do it — um, like right now. If not, move on and get back to your wonderful creative dream venture. In other words, in my case, just write the damn piece.
The whole goal is to keep your thinking “right-sized.”
When I look back on more than three decades of living as an adult (when I had a measure of control over stuff that happened to me), I actually only see a dozen or so days that were really and truly disaster-worthy.
In other words, over the last thirty years, I’ve had 12 days or so of actual horrendous crap happening IN THE PRESENT, and yet, I’ve squandered – at least in some part — 10,950 days of not living FULLY for fear of Shitty Day #13!
See what I mean? NOT strategic.
So, keep on grooving, Beautiful You.
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