Is It Time to Unsubscribe?

flickr, FABIOLA MEDEIROS

Earlier this year I invested a BOAT-load of money (think half an SUV or a year of my kid’s tuition) in a training program that WAS NOT a good fit for me.

So now, five months before the 12-month program ends, I’m quitting.  (No money back, by the way – them’s the rules when you go into this sort of thing.)

Besides that, the money is irrelevant.  My precious time is not.

I’m quitting.

I’m moving on.

I’m not wasting one more minute.

I’m investing my energy elsewhere.

Why?

I made a mistake.  I had clues from the very beginning that the culture and value system of this group was not a match for me.  But I IGNORED my own best knowing.  (I hate when I do that.)

Lots of people love the program I invested in.  They have done some remarkable things for some of their clients. But, I don’t like the way they get what they want.  And that really, REALLY  bothers me.

For me, in building my own business, the ends DO NOT justify the means.

Since I ignored my own best knowing, I can’t really be unhappy with them. So, no sour grapes. I’m simply moving on.  Quietly. (Well, unless you count this great big GLOBAL blog post.) I’m not wasting any more of my precious TIME with this.

Here’s Why:

I’ve learned, over the last couple of years, that my TIME investment is WAY more important than my CASH investments.  I can always get more cash.  I can NEVER get more time.

Nope.

Not one more second.

When I think about how I spend my precious time these days, I am reminded of an investment rule that I learned way back in undergrad:  I practice “Gresham’s Law.” For those of you without a Finance minor, Gresham’s Law, basically says this:  “Don’t throw good money after bad.” (Click to Tweet)

In other words, if you’re investing in something, and it becomes clear that your investment was not a good one, do not continue to throw more money at the situation hoping things will improve.

Throwing “good” money (in other words money you STILL HAVE) after “bad” money (money that is already lost) is NOT SMART.  It’s not STRATEGIC.

The same goes for your TIME.

If you’ve invested your precious time in something, and things are not working out, don’t throw any more “good” time (time you still have) at the “bad” time (time that is forever lost to Beautiful You.)

As we get older, this becomes even more critical.  Let’s face it: For most of us, there are more years behind us than ahead of us.

 

There simply isn’t time left to pretend like there’s still time left to waste. 

We don’t have time to pretend like we will always have time.

For me, here’s how I want to spend my time:

I want to be with my wonderful family.  I want to be with Beautiful You.  I want to be with my colleagues who inspire and support me.  And I want to be with my dear friends.

That’s it.

I don’t do business with anyone else.  In fact, I personally interview everyone I agree to work with.  We are going to  spend some significant time together.  I want to make sure we dig each other.

I’ve put my stake in the ground and I want to encourage you to do the same.

If something you continually do does not give you an adequate return on your time investment (via happiness, satisfaction, cash, enjoyment, or the like) STOP doing it.

NOW.

And, I’m even gonna get really really brave and say this, “If Life After Tampons is NOT giving you what you need to make the changes in your life you want to make, please MOVE ON.”

Find another mentor.

Unless you just can’t.

Because I’m fun.

And cheerful. (Ha!)

If what you find here isn’t HELPING you… Let. It (me). Go!

Most of us can’t make the important changes we want to make without help. (Otherwise, we would have done it already.)

That means you need help.  You need a mentor.

If that isn’t me, unless you’re reading LAT just for kicks — which I completely get, by the way — you need to find someone else to help Beautiful You.

 

So, if LAT isn’t working for you, please email me and let’s set up a time to talk.  I know a lot of great coaches, and I’d love to point you elsewhere.

 

If, on the other hand, I’m your girl, let’s get to work. Let’s talk about your own personal Insurrection.

Either way, the same email works, and I PERSONALLY answer EVERY email sent to me: jennifer@lifeaftertampons.

Stop looking for love – and help – in all the wrong places.

Love, Jen

P.S.  The last Insurrection group of the year starts Monday, December 16.  The next Insurrection group does not start until February 2014.  email me for details:  jennifer@lifeaftertampons.com

Photo: flickr, FABIOLA MEDEIROS

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40 Responses to Is It Time to Unsubscribe?

  1. Laura York says:

    Unsubscribe? NO WAY!
    I always stop to read your posts. They’re one of my “God winks!”
    Keep ‘em comin’!
    Hugs! :)

  2. Carol says:

    There is no way I am unsubscribing. You are one of the shining lights in my life, the wisdom that comes from someone authentic and who uncannily seems to send the message I need to hear just when I need to hear it. So you’re stuck with me. xoxo Carol

  3. daph says:

    Jen, I am not quitting… I need your perspective now more than ever. I lost my son, Jay, 11/3 this year. He died on my birthday. He was 30. Before he became distant after marrying into a Wiccan family with isolating dynamics 3 1/2 years ago, (he cut off ties with all family, and friends, without explanation) we had been close .. we all reached out to him in many ways, many times ( we have a large extended family). Eventually we didn’t know even where he lived. He had a daughter, 3, Patience. He took his life on railroad tracks
    . The tox screen indicated no drugs were involved; he was misdiagnosed with very brittle diabetes after marrying and becoming estranged from us. We were not able to reach him to tell him that in the last two years, a rare pancreatic disease had been diagnosed in our family, that it was not diabetes and couldn’t be managed by treating as such. He was dealing with pain, unpredictable blood sugar with resulting mood swings and sometimes deep depression. He didn’t know what he was dealing with, and he was doing it alone. My niece and I do know, what he was going through…
    I reach for your site like a drowning man sometimes; other times I get stuck and can’t face what I need to keep moving forward. Rest assured that you are good medicine… I need you to know that; for me and also many others, I know this… So, thank you Jen Daph

    • Jennifer says:

      Oh, my gosh, I am so very sorry for your loss. I’m glad that I’ve been able to help — if only a little. Please let me know what else you might need. Love, and strength, Jen

  4. Theresa says:

    Jen-

    You have been here to hold my hand and kick my butt (both at the same time) without (probably) even knowing it. LAT is part of me now. Sorry- you are stuck with me! And my Insurrection has been amazing! I feel like I’ve grown up all over again and I’m LOVING it!

    Hugs to you and Merry Merry!

    Theresa

  5. Josie says:

    Unsubscribe? Are you mad??! I may not be able to work with you personally (due to the exchange rate being a tad rough on the finances) but you are a bright star in my sky & a much appreciated voice of hope, acceptance & love. So, no – I shan’t be unsubscribing any time soon. But thanks for making me aware of just how much I look forward to your love notes and voice of reason…

    All the best to you & the rest of the lovely ladies of our beautiful circle of wise:)

    • Jennifer says:

      Thank you, Josie. There is a TON of free resources on our site, too. Make sure you really mine all of that and you’ll get farther than you can imagine. Love, Jen

  6. Patty says:

    I really feel you on that Gresham’s Law thing, Jen. I’ve always taken the perspective of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” in these matters…just because everyone else is saying it’s wonderful, doesn’t necessarily mean it is and I love that you, not unlike myself aren’t afraid to call people and situations out on it. And that’s why your stuck with me too, lovey. I dig that you call me out on my sh*t in your gentle yet forthright way when it comes up and that’s exactly what I need…not someone who’s going to coddle me and keep me “dependent” or reinforce a poor me victim attitude. So I’m going to continue to kick ass with you through the “all-in” authentic and fun way that your unique wisdom brand provides.

  7. Phoenix Huston says:

    Glad you quit that program! Way to go!!! Yes, TIME is precious and I’m SOooo glad you’re Not quitting what’s essential in your life (as reflected back by all that love and adore you & thrive on your shares)~ Count me in, laughter is the Healer that keeps on giving.. Endless Hugs~Phoenix

  8. Sandy Morris says:

    Jen: You, more than anyone else on the ‘Webs of Inter’ actually SPEAK to me. I may not have the cash to put into personal sessions with you, but you are a voice of reason in an insane world. Give you up? NEVER!!

  9. Jen –

    Don’t want to unsubscribe, in fact, I love your “stuff”, and am trying to make the time to get more involved in reading your posts, participating in workshops, etc. Can you please change my e-mail address to the one above, though?

    Thanks, and wishing you all of the blessings of this joyous holiday season.
    ~ Faith

    • Jennifer says:

      Hi, Faith. To change your email address, unsubscribe on the one you don’t want. And then, go back in and resubscribe with the one you do want. That’s the best way around the Internet Gremlins who seem to delight in messing these kinds of things up. Jen

  10. Diane says:

    Thanks for your post. I am doing work I love and have wanted to connect with you or someone like you for mentorship. my business is going very well and I could use some specific guidance in the area of online development.
    Just the name of your site keeps me coming back. Thanks Jen!

  11. Carla D. Laskey says:

    “Unsubscribe me” said no Carla D. Laskey ever (lol)! I am still looking forward to participating in a future Insurrection group! Until then I’ll keep taking full advantage of the “…ton of free resources” on the LAT site. It was awesome talking with you this past week and I am really looking forward to working with you in a mentor/mentee relationship. You are the one ;-)!

    • Jennifer says:

      I am so honored, Carla. I loved talking with you, too. Go ahead and try the solutions I gave you using my Breakthrough book and the Comeback QuickStart. That will get you pretty far. I’ll be here. Love, Jen

  12. Candace says:

    I guess I am a lurker too. I get something from your posts. They help me grow and figure out what is next. But I am not ready yet. My ideas are brewing.
    Time to launch one more son. :)

  13. Marie says:

    As always thank you for your posting. I have stopped worrying about the money spent and focus on perhaps it’s time to STOP the ride and get off (so to speak). Sometimes the joining sounded like a good idea to join, but either I have gotten enough out of it and/or I don’t like the mantra or attitudes of the members. I definitely have found I am trying to stay connected with people and groups that focus more on the positive and when the negativity or that feeling pops up that makes me uncomfortable I know it’s time to move on.

    Taking one day at a time and working on what I want and need in staying connected.

    Take care. Stay Strong!

  14. Dawn Garr says:

    I enjoy LAT very much. It makes me realize that I am not insane to go back to school and do something else. Your articles inspire me so no I am not leaving!! Thank you for all you do. Dawn

  15. Sandy says:

    My heart sank at the thought of unsubscribing. Your posts speak to me and my life more than anything has in a long time. The humor is the icing on an already great cake!!! I feel like slowly, but surely my old ways are beginning to budge and new, wonderful changes are on the horizon. Your thoughts and ideas have helped me see that it is perfectly fine to want to stand up and “insurrect” when things can’t keep going the same old way. You know the saying, “if you always do what you always did, then you’ll always get what you always got.” Well, enough of that. Thanks for being a breath of fresh air and affirmation! Keep on keepin’ on!!!

  16. Jill says:

    Hell no!
    I may not have got a ‘hell yeah’ ( I know the universe gives me big shoves to stuff ) but you are the straight talking lady that’s been a voice I’ve needed this past couple of years during my mid-life hibernation (or should that be metamorphosis).
    BIG HUGS JEN, and hugs for all Latvians

  17. Jen,
    Very well written. Congrats on quitting. Takes courage, takes some nerve. It’s so YOU though. I don’t know you to be someone who panders to anyone or anything that isn’t working into the beautiful life you’ve created for yourself and your family. You’re like mama bear in that regards and I so admire that.
    Onward and upward my darling!
    Oh, and I’m not quitting you – ever!
    All the best for 2014, and nothing LESS!

    • Jennifer says:

      Linda, thank you for everything. I’m so very grateful I get to learn from Beautiful You and call you my friend. Love, Jen

  18. “There simply isn’t time left to pretend like there’s still time left to waste. ”
    I’m only 30-something but I have five small children. I get a LOT done and what I’ve realized is that I am more productive than most people. I write in five minutes between outbreaks-of-child-insanity than most people write in an entire day because I am committed to my community and to the work. There’s a passion I have that makes it very easy to choose between the latest episode of Who’s-Going-Next and writing something that could bless others. Very easy. I love this post because you’re absolutely right – it’s not about the money. It’s about how much time are we able to invest in those around us. For me that is my husband and my kids and my readers. I know you understand that. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Jennifer says:

      Hello, Beautiful Angela. You are certainly not alone here. A healthy percentage of my global readers are in your age-group. When they write me, they say that they feel like they’re talking with a Big Sister. That makes me happy. There are a LOT of wise women, here, and, what I’ve found out is that you don’t have to be older to be wise. You just have to pay attention. Love, Jen

  19. Jen, I am “quitting” a lot other bloggers out there for 2014 b/c all my resources are limited, especially time. I just quit a job last month since I realized it was distracting me from my real passion – my own biz! I look forward to another year of reading your “tell it all, say the things most of us are thinking, dialogue.” I always feel so much better after we connect. You have a gift and I want to keep receiving it! Thank your for sharing your thoughts and life with us. You’re one blogger who is the real deal!

  20. deborah says:

    I can relate to so many of your posts. I feel that I am not a failure, I feel that its natural to be as I am .There’s so many I feels and all of them are positive.you are a voice in the wilderness leading us back to sanity, you are the light in a snowstorm that symbolizes life. I am not unsubscribing thank you!

  21. Pingback: SimpleProductivityBlog.com—Open Loops 1/3/2014: Articles I Think Worth Passing Along - SimpleProductivityBlog.com—

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