Why I’m Quitting

patrick denker

 

For some weeks now I’ve been thinking deeply about what I want and need in my life and what role, if any, Life After Tampons will play in my future.

Looking back at the three years that I’ve worked for Beautiful You, I can’t tell if I’m a huge success or a world-class failure.

I meant to build a business, but instead I’ve built a life. I’m profoundly happy with the way I live my life – the solitude, the creative freedom, the time I have to engage deeply with my husband and kids.

I meant to build a business, but instead I’ve made a difference – and I do acknowledge that LAT has often made a BIG difference to the women who have needed me here.

But, I meant to build a business. An Internet business.

I’ve hired every kind of business advisor you can imagine. I’ve worked for countless hours on things like product and service funnels, auto-responder series, social media campaigns, and the like. We’ve talked “scale” and “working while you sleep” and all those mythos of the Internet entrepreneur.

I’ve asked you what you have wanted, and I’ve worked hard to create that for you. We’ve reclaimed our sass and explored the Chapters of our lives. We’ve Crafted Comebacks and launched full-scale Midlife Insurrections.

And I feel like we’ve all grown.

But, I meant to build a business.

The spiritual conflict is probably mine – because the truth is I don’t CARE about the money. I’ve just wanted to matter. I’ve wanted to matter with a breathtaking yearning in my heart and soul from my earliest memory.

And I feel pretty sure that I have DONE that.

At the same time all of this internal conflict has been kicking my ass, I’ve also grown artistically dissatisfied with what I perceive as the limited range of the kind of work I can do here because of how I’ve positioned Life After Tampons.

So, I’m making some significant changes in my life and in how I show up here and I wanted to take a moment and introduce Beautiful You to some of the changes that are ahead.

The first thing that you are going to see is that I’m changing the entire look of our site. In a couple of weeks I’m going to unveil a new design that we’ve been working toward for some weeks.

It’s a fresher, brighter look. I think you are really going to dig it.

The next thing I’ve changed is our tagline.

Though I love the sassy tone of “Quit Your Bitching. Change Your Life,” what I really want to explore with you is the sacred journey of this stage of our lives and how we can embrace the spirit of the Wise Woman.

That means I’m gonna get a little more woo woo around here.

But it will be a practical woo, cause otherwise it’s just chit chat and horse poo.

The last change that I’m making is that I’m completely QUITTING worrying about whether or not Life After Tampons is supposed to become an Internet business or not.

I yearn to use all that toxic worrying energy on my writing and speaking craft instead, both here and at my new site, www.jenniferboykin.com, where I will publish whenever I damn well feel like it.

No More PUSHING!

Finally, and this is where the QUITTING REALLY COMES IN — I’ve decided to come back to the hearth professionally and, if they’ll have me, take a small part-time job crafting fragrant memories in a local bakery.

This will free up the financial pressure to “MAKE” Life After Tampons something it simply refuses to be.

It will also free up my time because what I REALLY want to do next is write my first book for Beautiful You.

So, here’s an overview of my vision as it stands today:

  • “QUIT” Life After Tampons as a business
  • Reposition Life After Tampons to delve more seriously into the spiritual unfolding of the Wild and Wise Woman over 45.
  • Work in the bakery (not a done deal yet) to make cake and memories for others – truly this was the happiest job I could think of.
  • Give Life After Tampons a style makeover.
  • Focus more on speaking, speaking, speaking.
  • Post at jenniferboykin.com on Sundays or whenever I feel like it.
  • Write my book
  • Self-publish it by next summer
  • Stick a man or two in the car with tents and such and take people across our beautiful country for book signings and to visit LATvians everywhere.

Whew!

Now that all of this worry is out of my head and shared with you, I feel so much lighter.

And I can see that I haven’t quit at all.

I’ve surrendered.

Love, as always, Jen

photo: Flickr, Patrick Denker

 

 

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74 Responses to Why I’m Quitting

  1. Beth says:

    I bet you feel so free right now! Congrats on coming back to you! I love all the new changes and look forward to what comes next.

  2. Juanita says:

    That’s COURAGEOUS!!!

    • Jennifer says:

      Thank you, Juanita. I’ve feeling really vulnerable right now and your kindness means so much to me.

      • Susan Kuhn says:

        It’s too bad that we can never see ourselves as others see us…this just sounds like a wonderful move. The STUN will clear and all will be well.

  3. Lori R says:

    Jennifer,
    This sounds wonderful. I’m happy for your new direction taking away any conflict for you. Go girl go!
    Lori

  4. Michelle says:

    Gohd, I really really love this. I can feel the release in me as I read about this for you. I can’t even describe to you how much I identify with this. Just beautiful, Jennifer. I am so excited for you and us and the evolution of things as they come, whatever and however that plays out.

  5. Elise says:

    Yes! I love it. It’s so helpful to me as I struggle to gain focus, meaning and financial reward from a venture I haven’t turned into a business yet. I first heard you speak on a podcast from unmistakable creative and you have a gift. I can see there are challenges with turning a gift into a business. Your process of iteration and transparency is so helpful. Thank you!

  6. Mary Koppel says:

    What a model you are, dear Jen, for all of us turning chapters in our lives! Thanks for demonstrating the courage of the big pivot of knowing when something isn’t working, so making the move to make it work.
    And baking – ahh – some day, I want to just make and serve soup to nourish souls in my reach.
    Know there’s always a place for you on our porch whenever you’re on the North Coast of the U.s.
    You’re awesome!

    • Jennifer says:

      Thank you, Mary. I’m sitting here in my coffee shop kinda sorta quivering in my boots (well, Crocs). I’ve loved knowing you better and you can bet we’ll stop by on our trip! Love, Jen

  7. Susan Kuhn says:

    This sounds luscious. And like you have worked your way through to something wonderful. I don’t feel anything we do is ever wasted. And I love your use of the word surrender to describe where you are now. It all sounds just right.

  8. Lisa says:

    I suspect you will find without the pressure to make a business out of this work that you will make a business out of this work. You have a lot to say, all of it of value and it has been a gift to the world that you are willing to share it. Following your heart, not what you think will “work”, feels like a much better business plan. I’m glad to hear you are not at all quitting – not sure where I would find the sort of wisdom, insight and camaraderie on this time of life. Looking forward to what is ahead and will you let us know where we could buy one of your cakes if we are in the area?

    • Jennifer says:

      Hi, Lisa. Thank you for your wisdom, too!!!!! We’re in Frederick, MD — but seriously cake was the happiest thing I could think of.

  9. Dr. Anna says:

    Girl….good for you. I must have the same thoughts at least once a day and you’re right. It just saps the life out of you. I’m still meaning to build a business, mostly b/c I want us midlifers to know what they need to do to take care of their bodies and advocate for themselves…but I also know that there’s a part of me that would feel like a failure if I walked away (even though I know I’m not). Can’t wait to see what comes next for you!

  10. Theresa says:

    Jennifer-
    I am so proud of you for seeing a chance to change and taking it- just like you’ve taught all of us. While your business didn’t take hold your ability to help thousands of women overcome, move on, organize, reach and dream is spectacular! I’m better for knowing you and being part of LAT. Thank you thank you thank you! I look forward to what you bring to the future! xoxo❤️

  11. Marie says:

    Hi Jen. I know you mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, but seeing it out there must make you feel good that it’s time to move on. You have done a great job with Life After Tampons and brought so many people together. Yet we all know when it’s time to move forward. I understand your point of trying to build a business. I love the idea of you working at something that makes you and other happy. I believe that is what most of us want in some form.

    I wish you peace and joy in your next ventures and hopefully you’ll keep in touch with us so we can follow your journey. Hugs!

  12. Jen,

    I nearly cried reading this. What a gift to let go of what we think we want and to accept what we have. You do make a difference to so many of us and I know you will continue to do so – wherever the future leads you. And if it includes Tucson, consider yourself home. We’ll leave the light on.

  13. Donna says:

    Ah, surrender. Done it myself. Suggested it my friend. I am tired of swimming upstream for “want, want want” and instead choose to follow what I NEED instead.

    Our soul knows.

    Are you a closet Buddhist?

    You have healed me more than you will ever know and your ife has followed almost the same timelines in inexpliable ways, at times.

    If you are going back to school for something you desire, I would say we are separated at birth.

    Namaste Lady!

    xoxoxo

  14. Nicole Robertson says:

    M&M’S and Diet Coke and all will be well!
    Love you and your CHANGES!
    Trudge that road of happy destiny!
    You deserve it!!!
    Xo

  15. Chris says:

    I love that you share what is going on in your head. I’ve sensed in the last months that there has been some extra anguish. And I’ll say–it’s hard in this culture right now to build an internet based business. There’s just so damn many blogs and coaches and advisors. My inbox is full! It takes a lot of time and you’ve been pouring your heart and soul into it. Everything you do has clearly take much time (and love). But it’s felt increasingly like you were pushing uphill. My heart says that when you stop pushing, you will be surprised at how it flows. You are a brilliant writer and I can’t wait to read whatever you publish on whateverdamntopic speaks to you. 🙂 And I love your short little morning videos–that is so unique. Be your full self with us. We love your woo. And the woo too. I will say though–I’m sad to lose the tagline. I love the name “Life After Tampons” and the “quit your bitchin'” because it’s so direct and full of humor. I’ve long felt that both are some of the most brilliant marketing I’ve encountered because it tells you exactly who your audience is and what you deliver. I’ve referred you out because of that alone in some cases. Please don’t overlook either of those traits. Sending love and thanks.

  16. Linda St Myers says:

    Can’t wait to watch and read about the new you and what you are doing.
    Best of Luck and sending prayers of success in this new look.

  17. Janice H says:

    Now THAT is following the Essence Trail! Good for you. Would that I could be more consistent in my own practice. I guess “practice” is the operative word here.

  18. You rock, Jennifer! I wish you the best of the best on this next phase of your journey.

  19. Deborah says:

    Yay Jen!
    No more pushing….sounds totally divine, as I know it is.
    Thanks for reminding and demonstrating….
    Big love to you!
    Deborah

    • Jennifer says:

      Wow. These wonderful comments are so not what I expected. I love you people!!! Thank you, Deborah.

  20. Ann Bevans says:

    As a woman who has similarly put her business on a shelf and turned toward her passion, I can totally relate. I spent 15 years trying to make the Collective into something it flat out refused to be. It’s not an easy transition (or a completed one), but I’m at peace. xo

  21. All the best to you, Jen. Everybody needs to make changes in their life. I’m glad, however, that you are not going away completely because your posts that I have read and following your Reclaim the Sass videos have been inspirational and opened up new ways of thinking. I hope you find everything that you want and I will look forward to your new site and hearing from you still.

  22. Jeanette says:

    So exciting! The way I see it, you are living what you preach…it is your authenticity which makes you so effective with the community you have built…can’t wait to see/hear about your continued evolution! Here’s to the best of yourself because Dear Lady, that is better than luck!

  23. Dear Jennifer,
    I can feel the liberation right through your post!
    Building an internet business is a huge task one that can whip you, slap you and send you hurtling over the edge of a treacherous waterfall. I know because I have the bruises to prove it. Take a break, bake some memories and free yourself of all this pressure. I’ve learned that each time I think “I’ve got it!” it’s just another layer of onion I need to peel back. At some point you will get to the heart of that onion and when you do I have no doubt we will all say…..watch out world! Wishing you all the best, Angela

  24. Robin says:

    Not all are drawn to the deeper aspects of life as they age. Only the best are. Your calling has not started today, but came here embedded in you from the beginning. Your tribe will grow, your voice will penetrate, your mission will continue to morph and simplify. The “woo woo” realm uses one of three types of language to set a day’s (or life’s) intention. One, defensive: I clad myself with armor and am ready to do battle. Two, passive: May all beings be at peace and happy. Three, active: Who do I need to love today?

    Congratulations on your surrender to spirit and depth and woo woo and beauty and joy and love and miracles and chickens scratching and pecking happily in the dirt while you watch, your soul filling with the divine and the mundane all in one breath. (Ok, that last thing about the chickens is really my experience. I know you have your own spot of divine.) 🙂

  25. Connie says:

    Dear Jennifer,
    I completely understand this new step in your journey. I admire your transparency, and identify with your new goals. Completely. Thanks for all you have been doing for us Wise Women, and many blessings on your cakes and stories!

    • Jennifer says:

      Thank you, Connie. I suspect there will be more besides the cakes, too, but all of that is unfolding gently.

  26. Sandy says:

    Jen,

    Once again you blaze a trail for the rest of us. So many of us spend time with “toxic worrying” and it makes us feel as if we are just spinning in circles. I know I often feel as if I am running through each day chasing my expectations for how things should be and end up disappointed, as if I fell short. When I look at it with the tools and fresh lens you have shared in LAT, I can see that my days are beautiful and full and productive; just different than my expectations. By being willing to change and shift and choose to choose again, you help us see that things don’t have to be set in stone. We can surrender into the release, if nothing else…the release of toxic worries!!! Think how much new energy you will have as you let it go!!! Gratitude and support as you take your next steps and relax into the process.

  27. Kate says:

    Yay for you!
    And how WISE, Wise, wise!
    You gave hints this was coming, and I’m glad you’re finally “out” with it.
    You know the LAT acronym? Made me think of this: you are taking a step LATitudinally (see definition #3 here: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/latitudinally)
    Glad you’re not Quitting-quitting, just taking a fork in the path.
    Yay for you! Wise, wise you.
    I look forward to the woo-woo, and the whatever’s-next. You GO!

    • Jennifer says:

      Kate, I LOVED the definition. Thank you. It means a lot since you have been here from the beginning! Love, Jen

  28. Diane Standish says:

    Sounds like you are on your way to an even more beautiful you! Many blessings to you as you travel this new road and know that I for one will be here to support and learn from you and the other wise wonderful women who follow you!

  29. Christa Hyland says:

    Jennifer,

    Please do what you need to do. You’ve been giving us what we need for a long time. XOXO

    Christa

    PS Can I buy some of that fragrant memories cake? Sounds awesome!! I’ll drive to Frederick for it.

  30. Kathleen Sweeney says:

    Oh good for you! I first became aware of your site because I sat next to you
    at Danielle Laporte’s talk at World Domination Summit a couple of years ago, and I’ve followed your writing with interest. Congratulations on not letting the tyranny of expectations do you in!

  31. Sandy says:

    Jen…
    I so love how you share vulnerability in your writing. You are US! We are YOU! You’ve so eloquently put out there what so many of us are obviously feeling.

    And…I so admire the “I just wanted to make a difference”. I’ve been there for 20 years. My business often still feels like a paid hobby (that I love). I’ve tried to make it an “empire”…it likes being what it is.

    Please keep sharing YOU with us…your voice is so needed in this world. xo

  32. Lori says:

    Jennifer,

    I feel your relief at dumping unwanted conflict and baggage, I share your excitement over exploring spiritual development, and I have to admit to a little envy over your newfound freedom and fresh direction–bringing the good things along with you and replacing the not-so-good things with even better things more suited to you. Care to share that process? Or is that something we can look forward to in the book? So inspired by your insight and your courage.

    Lori

  33. Tiffany says:

    Hooray for courage at endings and beginnings. And double hooray for allowing us to share your journey, inspiring ours and kicking butt at all of it. Long may it continue!

  34. Beth Buelow says:

    Jennifer, your post – and your process – is beautiful. And reading all of the supportive comments of your loving community warms my heart (as I’m sure it warms yours!). It’s in the surrender that we discover what was there all along, waiting for us. Your voice has been a gift to many, and so glad it will continue to evolve and bring us along for the ride. XO

  35. Holli says:

    Your honest words are profoundly beautiful. I just found your blog so I hate to see you go. All the best to you!

  36. Deborah says:

    Jen…
    You are a skillful writer with profound insight. Your ability to be honest with yourself and make courageous decisions is admirable.
    May your dreams come true!

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