For some weeks now I’ve been thinking deeply about what I want and need in my life and what role, if any, Life After Tampons will play in my future.
Looking back at the three years that I’ve worked for Beautiful You, I can’t tell if I’m a huge success or a world-class failure.
I meant to build a business, but instead I’ve built a life. I’m profoundly happy with the way I live my life – the solitude, the creative freedom, the time I have to engage deeply with my husband and kids.
I meant to build a business, but instead I’ve made a difference – and I do acknowledge that LAT has often made a BIG difference to the women who have needed me here.
But, I meant to build a business. An Internet business.
I’ve hired every kind of business advisor you can imagine. I’ve worked for countless hours on things like product and service funnels, auto-responder series, social media campaigns, and the like. We’ve talked “scale” and “working while you sleep” and all those mythos of the Internet entrepreneur.
I’ve asked you what you have wanted, and I’ve worked hard to create that for you. We’ve reclaimed our sass and explored the Chapters of our lives. We’ve Crafted Comebacks and launched full-scale Midlife Insurrections.
And I feel like we’ve all grown.
But, I meant to build a business.
The spiritual conflict is probably mine – because the truth is I don’t CARE about the money. I’ve just wanted to matter. I’ve wanted to matter with a breathtaking yearning in my heart and soul from my earliest memory.
And I feel pretty sure that I have DONE that.
At the same time all of this internal conflict has been kicking my ass, I’ve also grown artistically dissatisfied with what I perceive as the limited range of the kind of work I can do here because of how I’ve positioned Life After Tampons.
So, I’m making some significant changes in my life and in how I show up here and I wanted to take a moment and introduce Beautiful You to some of the changes that are ahead.
The first thing that you are going to see is that I’m changing the entire look of our site. In a couple of weeks I’m going to unveil a new design that we’ve been working toward for some weeks.
It’s a fresher, brighter look. I think you are really going to dig it.
The next thing I’ve changed is our tagline.
Though I love the sassy tone of “Quit Your Bitching. Change Your Life,” what I really want to explore with you is the sacred journey of this stage of our lives and how we can embrace the spirit of the Wise Woman.
That means I’m gonna get a little more woo woo around here.
But it will be a practical woo, cause otherwise it’s just chit chat and horse poo.
The last change that I’m making is that I’m completely QUITTING worrying about whether or not Life After Tampons is supposed to become an Internet business or not.
I yearn to use all that toxic worrying energy on my writing and speaking craft instead, both here and at my new site, www.jenniferboykin.com, where I will publish whenever I damn well feel like it.
No More PUSHING!
Finally, and this is where the QUITTING REALLY COMES IN — I’ve decided to come back to the hearth professionally and, if they’ll have me, take a small part-time job crafting fragrant memories in a local bakery.
This will free up the financial pressure to “MAKE” Life After Tampons something it simply refuses to be.
It will also free up my time because what I REALLY want to do next is write my first book for Beautiful You.
So, here’s an overview of my vision as it stands today:
- “QUIT” Life After Tampons as a business
- Reposition Life After Tampons to delve more seriously into the spiritual unfolding of the Wild and Wise Woman over 45.
- Work in the bakery (not a done deal yet) to make cake and memories for others – truly this was the happiest job I could think of.
- Give Life After Tampons a style makeover.
- Focus more on speaking, speaking, speaking.
- Post at jenniferboykin.com on Sundays or whenever I feel like it.
- Write my book
- Self-publish it by next summer
- Stick a man or two in the car with tents and such and take people across our beautiful country for book signings and to visit LATvians everywhere.
Now that all of this worry is out of my head and shared with you, I feel so much lighter.
And I can see that I haven’t quit at all.
Love, as always, Jen
photo: Flickr, Patrick Denker