The other day, one of our Reclaim the Sass challengers shared with the group about a tough time she was going through in the last two weeks. Her father is ill and in the hospital and, obviously, she isn’t really feelin’ the sass right now.
Because all of our Sassafrasians are amazing, someone else immediately sent love to her and said, “Since I started the challenge I have been exceptionally cranky and down and I have no real reason, just coming up against my self appointed limitations that keep me from my full sass expression. Trying to let myself flow through it to the other side with as much grace as possible.”
The first dozen or two times I tried to change myself I remember that, too. I remember starting all gung ho – “
Time 1: “Woo hoo, let’s buy those protein shakes and lose that belly fat.”
Time 2: “Woo Hoo, once I get my house/finances/fat butt back in shape I’m NEVER going to allow myself to get THIS BAD again.”
Time 472: “What’s the use? I never seem to stick with what I said I was gonna do. I give up.”
Well, “giving up” is probably the best thing you can do when you decide to Reclaim Your Sass.
The best possible place to be in when you begin anything of import is utter and complete surrender.
You surrender your expectations of how it’s going to go.
You surrender your expectations of how compliant and consistent you’re going to be able to be.
You surrender all ideas of what you think your mood should be like while you are going through this time of change.
Cause here’s the thing love — It’s not really all that surprising to feel cranky, moody, and even depressed when you start out on the exciting journey of “this time I absolutely mean it, once and for all, I’m finally gonna do something about that thing that’s been bothering me like FOREVER and I’m gonna be so happy to finally have found someone to help me (that’s ME in this case) and a community of women (that’s Beautiful YOU in this case) that I’m just gushing with excitement and I imagine every day of this transformation to be completely filled with “aha” moments … and blah, and blah, and blah, and blah.
Cause the truth is you might actually feel kinda completely SH*TTY at the beginning.
You might have feelings of sadness and remorse that you waited so long.
You might have feelings of disappointment cause, once you get just the smallest way in to it, you realize that changing your life is a whole lot more complicated than you thought.
You may feel resentment that the people around you aren’t supporting you more. And, after all you’ve given them over the years, and they can’t, not even ONCE, be there for Beautiful You.
. . . . And, another thing . . . .
See what I mean?
When you make a commitment to make a commitment to yourself, all you’ve really done is state your commitment. The “going throughs” is a completely different thing altogether.
But that is no reason to feel glum. Further, you can completely LOWER your expectations of yourself in this way – you can’t expect yourself to be graceful at something the first time you do it.
Really, who does that?
Did Peggy Fleming look so hot the first time she laced up and risked the ice?
Did the principal of the New York Ballet pirouette the very first day at the barre?
Did Jennifer Boykin put together interesting and fun pieces the very first time she grabbed a pencil?
No way, Jose.
What we are doing here is creating a new life for ourselves – one day at a time. And the new life we are creating is, at first, a complete change to our interior world. The correct changes to our outer world will come from the understanding we get from understanding ourselves.
And, at first, we just can’t understand ourselves all the time. It takes practice, and love, and patience, and deep DEEP acceptance – both of self and of others.
So, if you are Challenging with us this month, or if you are just working through change on your own, I completely honor and commend your decision.
Just don’t sweat it if you’re a little bit grumpy and, from time to time you fall down on your beautiful behind.
Besides, it’s never the fall that matters. It’s the RISE.
Have fun. Make good choices.
P.S. We are announcing new changes to our monthly reinvention program – Chapters – as of this morning. To learn more, visit our info site: Chapters